The Pendragon Wager
by Daisy Pennifold
Summary: In which Lily and friends use their feminine wiles to attract a Ravenclaw heartthrob, and the Marauders are abused shamelessly. At first.
1. Chapter 1

_I don't know where I'm going with this, or if I'll ever actually finish it. I just want to see what Minty will do next, as she's one of the few characters I've created that is beyond me. Is that even possible?_

"Damn!"

"I know."

"I mean-"

"I _know._"

"What an _arse!_" Minty finally burst out, voicing the thoughts for the three of them as she joined her roommates at the Gryffindor table at breakfast.

Lily and Alice giggled as they looked at their friend.

"What do you think, Minty, fancy having a go?"

"Now, dears, that wouldn't be sportin' for you two, would it? Not a bleedin' chance for either of you!"

Lily snorted, but knew that her friend was probably right. Minty was basically a mess; frizzy ginger-colored hair, freckles all over, and an uber-muscular frame; she didn't look the type to have nearly every boy in Hogwarts salivating over her. But as she told her friends,

"It's all in the attitude, dears. I think I am a sex goddess, therefore I _am _one. These poor dumb blokes don't know any better, bless them."

"Oh, we have our ways," said Alice, a curvy sort of washed-out blonde. "I am, after all, the sweetest girl in our year. I'll bowl him over with kindness. Bring him cakes or something."

"You are both way out of your league," Lily said, leaning in to avoid the curious looks of their neighbors at table, "I've got it in the bag. You may have sex appeal, Minty, and you, Alice, may have, um, cakes, but _I _have a plan."

"Oh, dear me. Sure and last time wasn't your plan involving parboiled rutabagas, and the house-elves wouldn't do our laundry for a month."

"That was different Minty! Hush, now. We don't want him to hear us. Tarquin Pendragon won't know what hit him."

"What are you girls talking about? Greenwitch didn't bring her bludger set down to breakfast for practicing again, did she?"

"Eh, shut it, Black! If I were to bring me bludgers down, you'd be the first to know it. 'Course you'd be oot cold, wouldn't ya?"

"I'd be afraid to be out cold around you, Minty, no telling what you might do to my poor unconscious self."

Minty grinned wickedly and shook her head before turning back to her eggs and hash. "Not an ounce of respect for a lady, that one."

Alice hooted with laughter. "And since when have you considered yourself a lady?"

Minty just glared at her. "What about yourself? Joining our bet agin' Tark Pendragon when you're to be married in six months."

"Oh, I wouldn't do anything to hurt Frank, you know. It's all a bit of fun. Besides, with Frank in Morocco finishing his Auror training, I've got no one to dote on. The owls won't carry my hampers to him anymore."

"Could that be because you tried to owl yourself to him last month? That poor bird's still in traction!"

"Could be. Anyway, Lily, what's your plan, then?"

"We need to settle the bet part of this, first, don't we?"

"No, you know what Minty and I are doing. What are you up to?"

"Just a little healthy competition. I've been studying him, see, and –"

"Sure and haven't we all been?" interrupted Minty, casting another admiring glance at Tark Pendragon's behind, seated at the Ravenclaw table across from them.

Lily glared her into silence. "Anyway, the boy's got a competitive streak a mile long. He can't date anyone from his house; they're all as smart as he is. He won't date a Hufflepuff, too dull, and he could never trust a Slytherin not to outdo him in something or other. All I've got to do is play the pretty, dumb little Gryff, and as soon as he shows interest, I start to pay attention to another guy. He won't stand for that, and before you know it, I win the bet."

"That's a pretty good plan. How do you know we won't try it?"

"Because, Alice, everyone knows about you and Frank, including Tark. The cakes thing might work though – he's vainer than most and will love the flattery. Minty will never think that far ahead, and will rely completely on her-er-"

"Feminine wiles?" Minty completed for her, glaring menacingly at her friends. They nodded, gulping. The words "feminine" and "Minty" just didn't go together. Yet somehow-

"I'm bored with this chitchat. I've got an hour break before me first class. I want some fun. Black!"

"What, Greenwitch? I'm busy!" Sirius was currently nuzzling the neck of a sixth-year, who looked extremely annoyed at the interruption.

"I need to send an owl. I'm using yours. Put that little girl down and meet me in the Owlery, in, oh, how about right now?" With that, Minty got up, smoothed her uniform skirt, and sauntered out of the Great Hall, slamming open the huge doors as if they were weightless. Sirius dropped the sixth-year off his lap ("Hey!") and followed with a celerity that surprised even his friends, whom were used to his lecherous ways.

"What is it about that girl?" Remus Lupin said, as the remaining three boys slid down the benches to sit next to Lily and Alice.

"It's a mystery to us all, Remus. Makes the rest of us work that much harder for attention, but you can't help but like her anyway." The boys nodded in agreement.

"So, Lily, let's meet tonight after dinner and discuss the terms of our wager. I'm off for Charms, but I'll tell Minty at lunch. Do you think you'll be joining us then?"

"Don't know. I've got loads to do now I'm Head Girl. Oi, Potter!" Lily called, looking at her fellow Head. James turned red at hearing Lily call his name, but attempted to appear cool as he slowly looked up from his porridge.

"Evans," he acknowledged.

"Can you meet me at the library at lunch, Potter? We haven't gone over the patrol schedules yet and I want to get it over with before the weekend. Big plans," she said, winking at Alice as they shared a giggle.

"Er, sure, Evans. See you there." To James' credit, he tried his hardest not to look pleased, although Peter Pettigrew, sitting next to Lily, was grinning enough for the both of them.

"What are you up to then, Evans?" Alice asked conspiratorially as they headed out of the Great Hall.

"All part of the plan, Murphy. All part of the plan."

* * *

Lily smoothed her hair as she glanced in the glass surrounding the library doors, and then walked in, looking about for James. She knew he would have already arrived; she had purposely made herself late in order to make an entrance.

Spotting her quarry at her favorite table, in the back by a stained-glass window, she slowly and silently walked up to him, and leaned over his shoulder, her red hair framing her face for just the right effect.

"Hello, Potter," she said in his ear, and smirked as he jumped a bit.

"Er, all right, Evans?"

"I brought us some sandwiches from the kitchen. I thought you might be h-". Lily stared in astonishment at the rapidity in which the sandwiches were disappearing from the tray. She quickly grabbed one, nearly losing a hand in the process, only to discover that it was Egg Salad. With extra mayonnaise. Blecch.

"Anyway," she said, once James had slowed a bit, "Down to business." She turned to face James and languidly crossed once leg over the other. "Have you had a chance to look at the schedules?"

"Umm, I, no- er, have you?" James' collar suddenly appeared to be very tight, as he loosened his tie and tugged at it rather frantically. Funny, Lily mused, she didn't think that rubbing his calf ever-so-lightly with the tip of her foot would cause quite that reaction. Boys were odd.

"No," she said, leaning closer to him and lowering her voice a bit. "But I don't think that it will take that long if we work _together_."

James audibly gulped at that and scrambled to grab the schedules from under the tray that had held the sandwiches.

They worked on the schedules throughout the lunch break. Lily had taken pity on James and let up a bit on the flirting, merely deigning to sit quite a bit closer to him than she usually would. At first, he flushed every time their shoulders brushed or Lily smiled at him, but by the end of the period, not only had they finished the patrol schedules but James had become much more comfortable with Lily's company, even if he wasn't sure why he was receiving so much of it.

"Not bad, Potter. Good work today," Lily said as she packed up.

"Thanks, Evans. Not so bad yourself. We might yet manage to pull this off."

"I'm counting on it, James," Lily replied, her voice suddenly husky. With a wink she walked out of the library, with a bit more swing in her step than was strictly necessary. James sat down heavily, staring at her swaying hips.

"What the bloody hell was that all about?"

* * *

"All right, lads, what's it gonna be?"

"For the last time, Minty, we're not boys," Alice admonished, attempting to smooth her skirt down. The three friends were sitting in a tangled mass in their favorite window seat, inside Gryffindor's common room. Alice looked over at the four boys huddled around the chess table at the far side of the room, whom were whispering furtively and glancing in their direction every so often. "Speaking of boys, what are those four up to? What did you two _do_ to Potter and Black today?"

"Now Alice, that sounded like an accusation! The boys are perfectly unharmed, you can see for yourself. I just – confused mine a bit, is all. All part of the plan."

"If you say that _one_ more time, Lily," growled Minty darkly. She had been in a bad mood all day. According to her, Black hadn't lived up to his considerable reputation, and Minty took this as a personal slight. Sirius, for once, was looking incredibly nervous. "Black is _lucky _to be walking around here after-"

"PLEASE!" both her friends shrieked in unison. "We don't want details, Minty. We'll take your word for it that he's a wanker," Alice said, while Lily nodded fervently.

"Let's just get to the bet, shall we?"

Lily nodded. "Too right. What will the losers do for the winner? Obviously, the winner gets Pendragon, so the losers will just have to pay a penalty."

"The losers will have to – do the winner's homework for a month," said Minty promptly.

"No, because I don't _want _you doing my homework, Greenwitch!" Lily exclaimed, while Minty nodded sagely.

"Sure, darlin', and I won't be, because I'll be winnin', won't I?"

Lily kicked her feet against the wall in frustration. "We've done so many bets. Is there anything we _haven't_ done?"

"Alright. How about this. The winner, right, gets to choose dates for the losers to take on the next Hogsmeade weekend after the bet is won." Alice sat up straighter, her cheeks glowing with pride at her stroke of brilliance.

"Ooh, that's good," Lily said, as Minty laughed loudly. "Bet's on?"

"Bet's on." Minty and Alice said, and the three girls piled their hands, one on top of the other.

"I, Lily Lorena Evans,"

"I, Alice Blythe Murphy,"

"I, Araminta… Greenwitch,"

"Wait, what was that, Minty? Didn't quite catch your middle name there."

"If you're tellin' anyone, I'll-"

"We won't. What is it? you're interrupting the vow!"

"Eugenie." Minty buried her face in her hands.

"Your parents named you Araminta Eugenie Greenwitch?"

"Not so loud, Murphy! The whole room will be hearin' you!"

"Anyway," Lily continued, much more successfully _not_ giggling than Alice, "We three witches vow to follow through with our wager to the bitter end, and take the consequences or be squibs. By Merlin."

"By Merlin," Alice and Minty chorused, Minty glaring at Alice (who was still giggling) before flouncing off to bed. It was definitely not Minty's day.

"So what do you think Black did wrong?" Alice whispered, and Lily leaned in as the two girls gossiped about their friend. Meanwhile, across the room –

"What do you think I did wrong?" Sirius asked his mates, watching Minty rather wistfully as she ran up the stairs to her dorm. "I never do _anything_ wrong. Not in that department! I finally get a chance with that wench, and when the bell rings she just adjusts her robes, picks bird seed out of my hair, and asks- "

"Are you sure you're Sirius Black then?" his friends finished for him in chorus, mimicking Minty's brogue.

"Mate, we've heard this fifty times now. I think Potter's problems are probably more pressing," Remus said, stopping for a minute when he realized the alliteracy of his last statement.

"Anyway," he said, shaking his head. "Why do you think Lily's suddenly flirting with Prongs here?"

"Maybe she finally likes me back," James said hopefully, and his friends laughed at him.

"In your dreams, mate," Sirius said. "Though, who knows? This has been one hell of a weird day. Evans flirting with _you_, a woman leaves _me_ after a snogging session unhappy, who _knows_ what's going on?"

"I say we make it our mission to find out what they're up to," Peter said. "Alice Murphy tried to feed me four different kinds of cake on break this afternoon, but she had such a gleam in her eye that I was afraid to try them." Peter sighed. He loved cake.

"Deal," Sirius said. "Remus, you're the only one they haven't attacked yet, and you're rather sly and quiet-like. Do you think you can do some recon tomorrow with the girls in Charms?"

"I'll try, but I think that 'attacked' is kind of a strong word, don't you?"

"You haven't spent an hour alone with Minty Greenwitch."

"Point taken."

_Chapter Two: In which the girls work on Tark Pendragon, Remus turns 007, James snags Lily's plans for him, and Sirius takes snogging 101. From Peter._

___A/N: Minty's last name is pronounced 'Grenn-itch'. I can't help her name or personality. She popped into my head exactly the way she is. I can't change her, I've tried, but it doesn't work._


	2. Chapter 2

"Shhh! There he is again, Minty!"

"I see him. Shall you ask him, or shall I?"

"I'd better. Head Girl, you know. I can say… Oh! That I have to know the names of everyone who plans to stay over Christmas!"

"Ooh, that's good, to be sure, dear. Go now, he's getting away!"

"What are you two up to?"

"AAAAAARRRRRGGGHH!" Startled, Lily and Minty leapt up from the log they were sitting on, and turned to glare at Alice. By the lake, not fifty meters away, Tark Pendragon looked at them oddly, and resumed his stroll.

"I'm going then. He knows we're here now, anyway, THANK YOU, ALICE."

"Sure and you have to give us away, trying to improve your chances Murphy?"

"No, Minty, I didn't even see Tark! I was trying to figure out why the two of you were sitting down here with that paper held up in front of your faces."

"Is it so odd to be getting some sun on a lovely afternoon, then?"

"It is when there's a half-meter of snow on the ground! You have no idea how odd you _do_ look. What's she asking him, anyway?"

"We want to know whether or not he's staying over the holidays. She plans to stay, herself, and then work on him in her free time."

"Oh. That's hardly fair! But I'm not about to miss seeing Frank to stay here for this silly bet. Are you staying?"

"I'm not. Me mam's Scottish, don't ya know, and is takin' me and the other girls to me granny's in Edinburgh for Hogmanay. It's the best time of the whole year – wouldn't miss it."

Lily returned from her quick conversation with Tark Pendragon, eyes glowing with excitement. "He's staying! Now I just have to convince Potter to stay. I'll see you two later."

"Wait!" Alice called after Lily's retreating figure. "Why do you need Potter to stay?"

"It's all part of the plan!"

"Come on then, we're after bein' late for Charms." Alice and Minty shook their heads and traced Lily's path up to the castle, Minty muttering all the time about "sodding Evans" and "bloody plan".

Nearly invisible in the deep snow, a white rat scurried off towards the castle as well.

* * *

"She's staying."

"Which one?" The three boys turned from the window in their dormitory to address their flush-faced friend, who had just transformed from his rat animagus form into a plump, friendly-looking seventh year boy.

"Evans." Peter sat down on his bed and grabbed a packet of crisps and a soda from the bedside table.

"What else did you hear?" James and Sirius joined Peter on his bed. Sirius grabbed the bag of crisps from him and started eating. Remus sat down on his own bed, right next to Peter's.

"Greenwitch and Evans sat down there for a while, watching Tark Pendragon walk around the lake. They thought that they were being sly, but I saw him look up at them a couple of times."

"Why were they looking at Pendragon?" James spat, his face dark.

"I don't know," Peter shrugged. "They wanted to find out if he was staying over the hols. Evans went down to talk to him, after Alice came up. Alice and Greenwitch were talking; neither one of them is staying over. Then Evans came back up, said that he _is_ staying and now she has to get Potter to stay, and ran up the hill. Alice yelled after her, asked her why, and Evans said it's 'all part of the plan.' Then Alice and Greenwitch left, so I did, too. They had to go to Charms."

"Bollocks!" Remus exclaimed. He grabbed his satchel from its perch on his footlocker and dashed out the door.

"I hope he remembers to spy on them for us," Sirius remarked, still munching Peter's crisps.

"What's Lily up to?" James said, getting up from the bed and heading slowly out the door.

"Hey, you tosser, you've finished off my crisps!"

* * *

"The Protean Charm gets its name from the Greek God Proteus, a sea god who was a shape-shifter. It's a complex charm, that when used on one object in a group of objects, will change all the other objects the same way. It's very tricky, so we'll be using the rest of the period for practice. Split into groups of three, and gather by a tree."

The Charms classroom seemed even more crowded than usual, as half a dozen Christmas trees, fully decorated with blinking glass bulbs, filled the corners and alcoves. The students gathered into their groups, awaiting further instruction.

"Your tree will have many different-coloured bulbs on it, blinking in different ways and at different rates of speed. You need to get each bulb to blink the same as all the others, in the same colour, by the end of the period for full marks. Remember, the spell is "_Pro_-te-us", emphasis on the first syllable, and a steady hand. Good luck!" Flitwick hopped down from the desk he was standing on and went to sit at his own, while his N.E.W.T. level students glanced despairingly at one another.

"I wish Lily were here," Alice said, as she looked hopelessly at the fifteen-foot tree before her with its mocking, blinking bulbs.

"You say that every class, Murphy. Is it my fault she took her Charms N.E.W.T. a year early? The girl's unnatural, like!" Minty swung her wand in preparation for the charm, breaking one of the bulbs in the process. With a quick "_reparo_" and a sheepish grin for her Charms professor, she turned back to Alice. "This is hopeless, I think."

"Don't give up hope, ladies," said Remus Lupin, the third member of their group. "Pro-_te_-us!" Half the bulbs on the tree stopped blinking. The other half started a low whistling sound. "Oh dear. That wasn't supposed to happen."

"I think you had the accent wrong," Alice said, "But I'm not about to try and fix it. I'd just get them all whistling, and it's annoying enough as it is."

"Sorry," said Remus, and cast a _silencio_ on the entire tree and, accidentally, Minty. She began screaming at him until she was red in the face, but as Alice and Remus were intent on their conversation, neither really noticed. "So I heard you girls at breakfast yesterday. What kind of bet do you have?"

"Oh, we're not really – Oh, Minty! Sorry love!" Alice turned around at the tap on her shoulder to find her roommate glaring at her, arms crossed, mouthing 'fix this now, Murphy'. "_Audio_."

"Sorry, Greenwitch," Remus said sheepishly. "Only I'm a bit off today, having been late and all. It's got me a bit confunded, like."

"Jaysus, Lupin. You're some yoke." But she smiled, and went back to studying the tree. "Maybe you need to find somethin' in common with each of the bulbs," she continued, examining two of the bulbs closely.

"So anyway, your bet – does it have something to do with Tark Pendragon? I've heard around you've been stalking him."

"Who told you that?" Minty whipped around, a guilty flush on her face.

"You just did," Remus smirked. "Ow, down, girl! Quit hitting me!"

"Alright Lupin, but you're not to tell those tosser friends of yours. We don't want word getting out. We're after a little fun, and have a wee wager as to whom of the three of us Tark Pendragon will ask out first."

"That's hilarious! But what do James and Sirius have to do with it? Lily's making James awfully nervous, and Sirius is a wreck after your, um, rendezvous yesterday."

"Don't mention that eejit to me!"

"We don't know what Lily's doing with James, and that's a promise, Remus. Only it's lucky he doesn't like her any more, because I have a suspicion she's using him for bait."

Remus snorted at that, and Alice looked a little worried. She then turned to Minty just as Minty attempted the charm again.

"_Pro_-te-us!"

"Minty, you've done it!" The three of them looked at the tree, glorious in its red bulbs flashing gold every few seconds, and smiled as Professor Flitwick came rushing over.

"Oh, well done, Miss Greenwitch! Full marks for your group!"

"I told you we didn't need Lily, Alice!"

* * *

"She's _using_ me as bait."

"That's just what Alice suspects."

"She's using _me_ as bait."

"It's possible."

"She's using me as _bait!_"

"Damn, Prongs, give it a rest, why don'tcha?" Sirius was lying on his back, playing with James' snitch. The four boys were hanging out in their dorm, something they had been doing a lot these days, as sitting in the common room with the girls nearby made them inexplicably nervous.

"We don't know for sure, James," Remus said patiently, from his bed on the other side of the room. "I'm just telling you to watch your back. And from what Alice said, Lily thinks that you don't like her anymore, so she's probably thinking that it won't hurt your feelings, if that is indeed what she's trying to do."

"Well, am I just supposed to sit here and take this? She's been so, flirty, and nice, and, AARGHH! It's not bloody fair!"

"Make her jealous."

"What, Pete?"

"Go along with it, at first, like. Remember, _she _doesn't know _you _know. Play dumb, pretend you're just flirting with her and having fun, and when she's sure of your part and about to go after Pendragon, get yourself another girl. She'll go nuts, and it will throw a wrench in her plans."

"Oooh. That's good, Pete! Come on, Remus, we're going hunting."

"Why Remus?" Sirius asked with a scowl.

" 'Cause I'd hate to see the girl that you would pick to make Lily jealous. She has to be a contender, you know? Smart, pretty, nice. No fast girls, or Lily will just give me up for a lost cause." James and Remus left the room, and Sirius propped himself up on his elbows and looked up at Peter, who was sitting on his bed.

"Alright, Master Guru of Love, what about me?"

"What about you?"

"Well, you fixed Prongs' problem! Why don't you fix mine! I made out with Minty Greenwitch for an hour yesterday and now she looks at me like I'm evil incarnate."

"Oohhkkaaayy," Peter said slowly, shaking his head a bit at the fact that Sirius Black was asking _him_ for love advice. "How did you act with her?"

"Well, she's tough, right. Strong and fierce. So I acted tough, too. It was kind of like street fighting, only with tongues. Glorious," reminisced Sirius happily, before he scowled. "Or so I thought."

Peter looked green at the mental image Sirius had just given him. "I think, Padfoot, that you should have tried the opposite approach. As tough as Greenwitch is, she _thinks_ she's a very feminine lady. She told me last week her family calls her 'Miss Prissy'! Can you imagine what her sisters must be like?" Both boys shuddered, imagining that.

"Well, what the hell. It can't hurt to try, right? I guess I'd better go find her and attempt to redeem myself. Are you coming downstairs?"

"I told Prongs earlier I'd follow Lily to the prefect's meeting, since it's her turn to attend. Pendragon will be there and James wants to know what's going on with them."

"What are you getting out of this?"

"His _Daisy Pennifold_ Famous Wizard Card. The rarest one, you know. It will complete my collection, and I can move on to other candy. I'm so sick of chocolate," muttering, Peter transformed into his animagi form and scuttled off into a hole in the wall by his bed.

"Well, here goes nothing." An unusually subdued Sirius pushed his hair back from his face, popped a breath mint, and uncertainly left the room.

* * *

"—Meeting adjourned! Happy Holidays, everyone. Err, Pendragon, can you stay after and help me clean up?"

"Sure, Evans." With a slight flip of the head, Tark Pendragon tossed his soft brown locks out of his eyes, and smiled over the crowd of prefects hustling out of the room as he walked over to where Lily was standing.

"So why are you staying here over the holidays, Evans?"

"Oh, my sister has this new great zeppelin of a boyfriend, and he's all muggle, so she doesn't want me around to muck things up for her. If I'm lucky, the mammoth will marry Petunia, and I won't have to deal with either one of them again. But enough about me. Why are you staying?"

"My parents are off for a second honeymoon to Australia, and there's nothing more depressing than spending the holidays alone." With a charming grin and a twinkling eye, Tark handed Lily the papers he had gathered together from her desk. "Here you go."

"Thanks, Pendragon."

"Call me Tark, and I'll call you Lily, how about it?" Lily grinned, and tossed her hair the slightest little bit.

"Sounds good, Tark. Do you want to come down to the kitchens and get a bite with me?"

"I'd love to, but I promised my cousin Nimue I'd help her pack to go home. Some other time?" He looked sincerely sorry, but Lily wasn't too disappointed. She wanted to be sure of Potter before she went too far with Pendragon.

"I'll hold you to it, Tark! See you next week on rounds."

As she exited the room, red hair floating about her and glinting in the candlelight, the little rat in the corner of the room couldn't help but notice the tall brown-haired boy staring at her with a slightly dreamy look before leaving himself. Shaking his little head, he scratched his nose with one claw, turned to his hole, and started up the weaving network of tiny passages to return to his friends.

* * *

"Come on, Minty, one more chance! I promise I'll be everything that you could possibly hope for." After a half an hour of flattery, begging, and persuasion, Minty was still unmoved. Sirius was beginning to give up hope.

"And could you get any more full of yerself, boy? You tossed me around like a bleedin' Quaffle last time!"

"Please, love, I'm so sorry! You leave day after next for the holidays. Just once more, and I promise if you don't like it I'll never bother you again."

"Alright, Black, alright! Just you meet me down the Quidditch Pitch after practice tomorrow, and you've cleaned up an' all. Sure and I'd better not be wastin' my time."

"You won't be." Confidence returned, Sirius kissed a scowling Minty on her forehead and swaggered up the stairs to his dormitory. "Pete, you back yet? I need help!"

_Chapter Three: Lily and Tark attempt holiday romance, the bait finds bait, Sirius attempts to salvage his reputation, and love at first sight occurs – in a most unexpected quarter._

_A/N: The first sign that Peter will turn evil one day. Sick of chocolate? You just know there's something wrong there._


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Just to clear a few things up: In PS/SS, Scabbers is described as a pale grey rat. He's white in my story, so I reckon he must have gone grey with old age. After all, he's got to be about a million in rat years. Not to mention living with the Weasley boys for twelve years._

_Lucy Summers (to be introduced in this chapter) is the original creation of my ff pal Jestin, and you can read about her (Lucy, that is) in our story, A Fork in an Eye, by the Round Robin Ducklings, a group of authors writing a really fun L/J story, a chapter at a time. There's a link from my author page. Check it out!_

* * *

"So, Prongs, what are your requirements again?" 

"Pretty, but not flashy. Nice. Smart, or at least good in lessons. Popular enough that Lily knows who she is. And, most importantly, She can _not_ be one of Sirius' ex-girlfriends."

"Well, then. Um, is there even anyone who hasn't dated Sirius?" Remus asked, turning to look at his friend. The two were leaning against a wall in the foyer after breakfast, watching students trickle out of the Great Hall.

"I suppose there must be. What about, oh – Robyn Rhys-DeVries?" The sixth-year Slytherin flashed them a coy smile as she walked past, hearing her name.

"They went to the Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff match together just last month."

"Oh, right."

"What about that blonde friend of hers – Sabrina. Isn't she Sirius' cousin or something? And she and Robyn are practically twins."

James grimaced.

"In looks, maybe. Sabrina is a witch in every sense of the word."

"True. Lana Malone? Hufflepuff, Seventh Year, Prefect, sweet girl."

"I don't think she's interested in me."

"Why not?"

"She's got a girlfriend. And the girlfriend is MUCH better-looking than I am."

"OH. Right. Forgot about that."

"Remus, Sirius hasn't dated Lucy Summers, has he?"

"Our seeker? I don't think so."

"Perfect. Oi! Summers!"

"Alright, Potter, Lupin?" Lucy Summers detached herself from a giggling group of girls headed up the main staircase.

"Go on then Wilder, I'll catch you up."

"Summers, Could you spare a mo'? Remus and I have a little – er – proposition for you."

"Sure, anything for a teammate!" Lucy grinned up at the boys. James had a rather maniacal glint in his eye, while Remus seemed as if he was trying to hold in laughter.

"What do you blokes have in mind?"

* * *

"Ok. So I give her the flowers, then walk up to her and say – " 

"No, Sirius. You have to walk up to her first, _then_ give her the flowers."

"Oh. Why do I have to give her a handful of dead flowers again?"

"Birds think it's romantic. Trust me."

"Why? You've only had like, two girlfriends!"

"Right, and I dated both for months. How long was your longest relationship?"

"I see. So if you do things to make them _happy…_ then they'll like you?"

"There you go! You're getting it. Let's try again."

Sirius and Peter were practicing 'the wooing of Minty Greenwitch', as Sirius so eloquently named it. It had been hours, and both boys were quite tired, having rushed up from breakfast. Thankfully, they had a day free of classes before the holidays officially began, so they were taking advantage of the free time. Unfortunately, Sirius had never had to put any effort into dating a girl before, and was less than receptive to the proceedings.

"So I will say, 'Minty, love, you look-'"

"Exquisite."

"What the _hell_ does that mean?"

"Er, flawless, beautiful, perfect, stuff like that."

"Fair enough. 'Minty, love, you look exquisitive.'"

"Exquis_ite_."

"Riiigghtt. Then do I snog her?"

"Well, maybe you should start by kissing her hand."

Sirius looked at Peter as though he had told him to kiss Ms. Norris.

"Kiss her hand?"

"Yeah, like this." Peter walked up to Sirius, looked him in the eye, gently brought Sirius' hand to his mouth, and still looking him in the eye, kissed the back of his hand.

"Pete?"

"Yeah?"

"Never do that again."

* * *

"Murphy, we've been down here for hours! I've missed me lunch." 

"You're in the kitchens, Greenwitch! Figure it out."

"Oh, right. Tibby!"

"Yes Missy?" A wide-eyed little house elf came trotting up to where Minty and Alice were standing. Alice was baking for Tark before she went home for the holidays, and had convinced Minty to 'help' her, as she really wanted to talk about Lily.

"I would like biscuits and cocoa, if you please."

"Certainly, Missy!"

"Minty, I'm making biscuits."

"For Tark. I don't want any of your demented little reindeers, they're creepy."

"Fine then. Do you think that we should say something to Lily?"

"About what?"

"About Potter."

"What about him?"

"I don't think that she should use him to make Tark jealous when she has no interest in him, do you?"

"Thanks Tibby." Minty responded with her mouth full of chocolate biscuit. "Sure and Potter can take care of himself, he's a big boy and all. And didn't you say just yesterday that Potter doesn't like her anymore?"

"Yes, but Remus made a face as if that wasn't really true. I'd hate to see people get hurt over this silly thing."

"She says, as herself bakes biscuits for Tark before going home to her betrothed."

Alice snorted a little, as she tied up the last package.

"There, that's done. I'm afraid, my dear, that once Tark Pendragon gets a bite of these little beauties, you and Lily won't have a chance."

"And once _I_ get a bite of Pendragon, neither of _you _will have a chance. You're both far too goody-goody to win this. You should probably be quitting now."

"Then what would I do with all the biscuits?"

"True. I won't be wantin' the creepy little reindeers up in our dormitory, for sure."

"I'm going to talk to Lily before I go. Try to make her see sense."

"Go on then, but it will do you no good. You know what that lass is like when there's a wager. I'm nearly late for Quidditch practice anyway, and then have to meet with Black, so try not to muddle the mess."

"Umm. Alright, then. What does that even mean?"

But Minty had already left.

* * *

Lily had been searching the castle for Potter, but was having very little luck tracking him down. She tried all of his usual haunts – the kitchens, the owlery, the common room, before remembering that the team had Quidditch practice. 

Approaching the field, she grinned as a beater with frizzy hair whacked a bludger at one of the chasers.

"Dammit, Greenwitch, you said I had another chance!"

"I'm after changin' my mind. I don't want to waste me free time."

"Greenwitch! Black! Pay attention to the bloody game!"

"Aye, sir! Yer' a lucky boy, Black!"

"Yeah, I feel lucky," Sirius said, rubbing his arm where a bludger had hit it.

After watching for a few more minutes, Lily stood up when James called, "Showers, everyone!"

The team headed for the pitch, then dismounted and headed towards their changing rooms under the Gryffindor bleachers. Lily stood by the door, and James' eyes lit up when he saw her. She flashed him a breathtaking smile, but just as she moved to speak to him, a blonde blur flew past her and attacked James.

"I did it, James! I caught the snitch blindfolded!"

"I told you that you could, Lu," he replied, hugging the small girl wrapped around his neck. "It just takes a bit of practice, that's all."

"A bit, I've been working at it for two years now! I –oh, my," Lucy pushed herself off of him, blushing beet red. "I need a shower! See you later, Potter?"

"Sure, Summers," he said, winking at her as he watched Lily fuming from the corner of his eye. "You leave tomorrow, we have to celebrate before you go! Meet me in the common room later."

"Sure thing," she said, and turned towards her changing room, nudging Lily conspiratorially as she walked by her. "Isn't he _divine_!"

"Yummy," Lily replied through gritted teeth, trying her best not to show how incredibly livid she was feeling.

"Potter, did you forget we have rounds tonight?"

"Oh, was that tonight?"

"You told me _yesterday _at dinner that you were looking forward to it."

"Did I? Hmmm. That seems so long ago. Do you think someone could cover for me? Only Summers and I-"

"_Summers_ will have to wait, _no one_ can cover for you because everyone is getting ready to go home tomorrow morning, I _will_ meet you in the Common Room at nine." Pivoting on her heel, Lily marched back up towards the castle, as James covered his face with his glove so as not to be heard laughing.

"That was priceless, Padfoot! Did you _see_? Evans was furious! Lucy played her part like a pro," James related as he walked into the boys' changing room.

"Brilliant," Sirius replied flatly, as he walked dejectedly from the showers to his locker and began dressing in what appeared to be a muggle suit.

"Er- Padfoot? What are you wearing?"

"It's a truckseeto. Pete reckons that birds like it when blokes dress up for them. I also have to give her these," Sirius said, pulling a handful of half-dead weeds, with clumps of dirt hanging from some of them, out of his pocket.

"Oh. Er, why don't you let me spruce those up a bit," James said, biting the inside of his cheek _hard_ and wondering why _everything _was funny today.

"Alright then," Sirius shrugged, as he very solemnly placed the cummerbund around his forehead. "This thing's too bloody big."

"I think it goes around your waist." James placed the weeds, which he had transfigured into a bouquet of red tulips, on the bench and went over to Sirius. "Like this."

"Are you sure?" Sirius said doubtfully a few minutes later, as he looked at the ensemble in the mirror. "This cloak isn't near long enough."

"It's a morning coat. The rest of the stuff is supposed to show like that. Leave the coat unbuttoned, like this, so she can see the suit."

"This better be worth it. I haven't felt this ridiculous since the first game of the season, when I was so hammered that I named my bed."

"Aah, Zaphod. Quite a guy."

Sirius looked at James as though he were insane. "It's a _bed_, Prongs. Besides," he muttered, walking out the door with the transfigured tulips dangling from one hand, "It's a lady."

James sat down on the bench and laughed until the tears ran down his face. He was having the best day _ever._

* * *

"Lily, can I talk to you?" Alice sang as she skipped into the girls' dorm, smiling beatifically at a glowering Lily. 

"What are you so bloody happy about?" Lily countered, viciously stabbing her quill into what appeared to be a badly drawn caricature of Potter and some blonde girl snogging on a broom.

"I just gave Tark the Christmas biscuits I baked for him, and he _loved _them," she replied, sitting down on the end of Lily's bed, out of quill range. "He said that he can't wait to see me when I get back! The bet's as good as won."

"La-dee-dah," Lily replied, glaring up at her from underneath her frazzled hair, which had been covering her face almost entirely.

"What's your problem?"

"Potter. He and Summers were all lovey-dovey down at the pitch."

"So? You don't like him. And Lucy's a nice girl."

"That's not the _point! _I _need _him for my plan, and now he's gone and taken up with _her._ This will ruin _everything_!"

"Enough with the italics, already! This could be even better for your plan. If you're so good as to get a guy with a _girlfriend_ in love with you, Tark won't be able to resist. But I don't think-" Alice broke off as Lily lunged at her and kissed her cheek before hopping off the bed.

"You're brilliant, Alice! I have to go get ready before I go on rounds. Potter won't know what hit him!"

"-you should use Potter like this," Alice finished lamely, as Lily rushed out the door towards the girls' toilets.

"Why does everyone run out before I finish?"

* * *

"Where have you been, Greenwitch? I've been waiting an hour!" 

"Sorry, ran into Tark Pendragon. Poor boy's besotted with me, you know. Shared his creepy biscuits that Alice made for him, and he said 'we need to talk' when I get back from the holidays. Oh, quit yer glarin'. What _are _you wearing, boy?"

"It's a truckseeto," Sirius said proudly, holding out the lapels of his coat and posing.

"Oh. Here." He thrust the bouquet of tulips into her hand (the transfiguration James did on them was starting to wear off, so they looked a bit ratty) and said,

"Minty, my love, you look Inquisitive."

He grabbed her other hand and kissed it sloppily, almost falling over as he tried to maintain eye contact.

"Er, thanks, Black. I think." Minty could see Black went to a lot of trouble to impress her, so she did her very best to take him seriously, while surreptitiously wiping the slobber from the back of her hand.

"Where do you want to go? It's a titch cold oot here."

"What about the little alcove behind that statue of Godric Gryffindor on the third floor? It's pretty private."

"Lead the way then, Bl- er, Sirius," and Minty looped her arm in his as they headed back towards the castle.

* * *

_Next time: James' reaction to Lily's attention on rounds, Sirius learns his fate, plots and counter plots, and holiday happenings! More Remus and Peter!_

_A/N: The scene with Sirius and his bed can be read in A Fork in an Eye chapter four, when our beta gets done with it! Should be soon._


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Well. James and Peter completely surprised me here. Sirius didn't. Plenty of action – more than I would normally put into an entire story! You lucky things. This story is stretching much longer than I ever thought it would - I must have read my own how-to guide (see author page, and please forgive my shameless self-promotion)_

James' good mood still hadn't worn off when he went to meet Lily for rounds. She hadn't made an appearance in the common room after dinner, and he was glad. He liked Summers well enough, but he really didn't want the whole house to think that they were carrying on.

Just Lily.

He slid down the long banisters into the Entry Hall, jumping deftly from one staircase rail to another, and landed firmly on his feet at the bottom of the stairs. For the first time ever, he hadn't landed on his arse. Apparently alone, he began jumping up and down, punching the air, humming "We are the Champions".

Suddenly, he stopped, frozen. From a shadowy corridor, he heard the most frightening sound in the world.

Slow, sarcastic clapping.

Cheeks burning, he lowered his arms and turned to face his audience, emerging from the dark.

Lily. Of course.

Embarrassment this acute should be fatal. Then, James thought, he wouldn't have to endure it.

He'd be dead.

Which would be better.

Lily stepped into the dim torchlight in the Entry Hall, and James' red face quickly turned pale.

She was stunning.

He didn't know why, she was wearing a uniform, like always, and her hair was simple, like always. Somehow, though, she looked even better than usual, and he didn't think that that was even possible.

The only time she had _ever_ looked better to him, she had just gotten out of the bath, her hair was wet, and she was wearing a skimpy pink little robe…

James shook his head hard, like a dog, to dislodge the thought.

Lily stopped clapping, tilted her head a bit, and quirked an eyebrow. Really, Potter could be very… odd.

"Bra-_vo_, Potter. You've always got a career with the circus, if this whole wizard thing falls through."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," Lily said, grinning and shaking her head. "You settle up with your girlfriend then?" she said, stepping closer to him.

He thought the smell of her hair would drive him mad. He stepped back a bit, and tried to focus.

"Er, we're not really dating. Just… friendly." He smirked a bit. Maybe he could play her game, get through this without losing his cool, without acting a complete ass.

"I can be… friendly, too, James," Lily purred, and slipped her hand into his. As she began leading him down their first patrol corridor, James felt like letting go and running like hell, as far from this Titian-haired siren as he could get.

He didn't stand a chance.

…

Three hours later, their patrol was nearly over.

James had been in a cold sweat the entire time. He didn't know what he could get away with, without getting smacked. So he did nothing, and tried to stay silent, but this new, predatory, _evil_ Lily was running rings around him. She flirted. She touched his arm. She touched his hair. She laughed at him. She whispered in his ear.

He was at the end of his rope. And finally, he fell.

Outside Gryffindor tower, James and Lily prepared to give the password to the Fat Lady, who was watching them avidly, when Lily pulled him back around a corner, out of the portrait's line of sight. Backing James against a wall, she started to trace the design of the crest on his robe, and looked up at him, coyly, through her eyelashes. "You know, James," she started to say, but James had had enough.

"Bloody Hell, woman! You win, alright?" and he grabbed her shoulders and kissed her, hard, and she let him, because she had thought that _she_ was in control, and had no idea what to do with this suddenly furious and _extremely_ sexy man, who was kissing her with everything he had in him.

He pushed her away just as suddenly, and peered down into her gaping red face. "Do what you want with me, Evans. I don't care. Win your little bet. Use me. But just know this, princess. _I _kissed _you._ On _my _terms. And _you _loved it." With that, he walked away, around the corner, and through the portrait hole, ignoring the Fat Lady's pleas to tell her what had just happened.

Alone, in the hallway, Lily began to wonder if maybe she just wasn't in a bit over her head.

* * *

Not ten minutes before, a furious Sirius Black had slammed open the portrait hole door, leaped through, slammed it shut behind him, and began to stomp across the room towards his dormitory stairs. 

"Trouble in paradise, Black?" He looked over at the sofa next to the fireplace, and saw Lucy Summers, from the Quidditch team, look up at him from behind a pile of books.

"Only I just saw Greenwitch storm through here not five minutes ago, muttering Celtic swear words under her breath. I thought I might have heard your name."

Suddenly deflated, Sirius doffed his tuxedo jacket and cummerbund, and collapsed next to Summers on the couch.

"I just don't know how to please that girl! First she says I'm too rough. Tonight she says I'm acting like some bleedin' Nancy boy who's never kissed a girl! I'll never get another chance, now, and –"

Summers leaned over and kissed him, slowly, languidly, and firmly, with tongue and everything. He barely knew the girl. He loved her for it. He felt like himself again, and smiled as she sat up a little and looked at him.

"There are other girls in this castle, Sirius, as you well know. Why are you wasting your time, when you could be having fun?" He pulled her back towards him, and over her shoulder waved his wand vaguely at the fireplace to dim it. Neither noticed when James, and later Lily, walked through the room on their way to bed.

A little white rat, quivering with fury in a corner of a chair on the other side of the fireplace, went unnoticed as well.

* * *

"Alice! Alice! Wake _UP_!" Lily was shaking her friend to wake her, but it was a pillow lobbed by their roommate that finally did it. 

"Evans, shut it! I need me beauty sleep!" Minty rolled over, sans pillow, and was asleep again in seconds.

"Wha- oh, what is it, Lily? It's after midnight!" Alice Murphy sat up in bed, yawning and tugging at the collar of her lace-edged nightgown. Lily sat down on the end of her bed, drawing the curtains and leaning in.

"I have to talk to you. You won't believe what happened. Potter kissed me!"

"So?" Alice said, preparing to lie back down. "Isn't that part of your plan?"

"_Don't _go back to sleep!" Lily hissed, "Listen! No, it's not part of my plan! _I_ may have had to kiss _him_ at some point, in front of people, to make Tark jealous, but I didn't expect James to kiss me, alone, in a corridor, where _nobody_ could even see us! What the hell's the point of _that_?"

"Hmm," Alice said, pretending to think, "Maybe the boy's been in love with you for _years_, and you're finally flirting with him?"

"No, but he- oh. He still likes me, doesn't he?"

"You're quick, Evans. Speed of _light_." Alice shook her head amusedly, as Lily just stared blankly into space. "Well, Great Planner, what are you going to do now? This knocks The Plan for a bit of a loop, doesn't it?"

"No," Lily said thoughtfully, "Not really. He said I could use him for The Plan. He seems to know all about the bet."

"Are you mad? Would you really do that to that poor boy?" Alice looked at her friend in disgust.

Lily looked back at her, very seriously. "Alice, the James Potter who kissed me tonight was _no_ boy." She shivered a little, thinking of it.

Alice smirked. "That good, huh? Maybe you should just drop out of the bet right now."

Lily smiled naughtily back at her. "Nope. I've just got two games going now. And one just got a _lot _more interesting."

Through the curtains, a shoe came sailing, only to land on Alice's lap. "WILL YOU TWO BLEEDIN' SHUT IT THEN?"

* * *

"Let's recap, then. James is in a plot with Lucy Summers to get back at Lily for using _him_ to win a bet for Tark Pendragon's affections. Prongs and I chose Summers because she's smart _and_, most importantly, because she has never dated Sirius, whom Lily thinks is a lecherous clod. 

"Now, however, Sirius, rejected by Minty Greenwitch (also involved in the bet), is finding comfort in the arms of the girl who has, up to now, been untainted by his lascivious reputation, an act which would ruin James' plans and give Lily the upper hand. That about right?" Remus shook his head, half smiling. "It sounds like a cheesy sitcom."

"It's not funny!" Peter seethed, sitting upright in his bed, still rigid with anger. "He's going to break up the Marauders, just because he can't keep it in his pants! You know what it was like when they fought before. I'll not have it." Peter's hands were clenched into tight fists, and he stared unseeingly ahead.

"Er, calm down, Pete. We'll think of something." Remus gave his friend a worried look. He couldn't understand why Peter was getting so angry. Personally, Remus found the whole situation beyond funny, and was working really hard to keep from laughing or even grinning, as Peter was taking Sirius' actions _very_ seriously.

"He knows," Peter said through gritted teeth. "He knows all about what James and Summers are trying to do, and he was kissing her anyway. James will never forgive him if he messes up his chance with Evans. He should _think_ for once, and try to be loyal to his friends. We _have_ to stick together. I'm not letting some bint come in between my friends."

"OK, Pete. We'll just have to pitch in, like always, and save them from themselves. I'll talk to James before I leave in the morning, and tell him what you saw, so he and Summers can plan more carefully. Since you'll be here over the hols, keep an eye on Padfoot, and keep him and Summers out of Lily's way. That's about all we can do, you know?" Remus shrugged, but looked hopeful. Peter seemed to be calming down somewhat.

"Yeah. Thanks, Moony. I'll keep an eye on him." Peter said shortly. He pulled his curtains shut. Remus stared thoughtfully at his friend's bed for a while, before pulling his own curtains and going to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, breakfast was a quiet affair, as most of the school had eaten early and left for home on the train. Lily sat at one end of the table, as far from James and his friends as she could. She _really_ wasn't ready to deal with him yet – she didn't think she'd even be able to speak. She decided that she had better start The Plan. 

When she saw Tark Pendragon enter the hall, she gave him a little wave and a wink. He immediately veered from his housemates and joined her at the Gryffindor table, blushing just a little as he sat down.

"This all right?" he asked. Lily nodded, and watched James out of the corner of her eye. He appeared to be ignoring them, but Sirius was openly grinning and elbowing James in the side.

"Sure, Tark. You get your Christmas shopping done?"

"Almost. I need to send my mum and dad their gifts in Australia. I'm going to book an adventure holiday through TerrorTours for them – they love to travel, and they've got a whizzbang package on Yeti sightings in Tibet. Do you want to look at it with me after breakfast? They've a catalogue in the library."

"Sure, that sounds fun! Maybe I'll find a place to send Petunia."

"Does your sister like to travel?"

"No."

James looked down the table at the giggling pair and rolled his eyes in disgust. "I am appalled."

Sirius looked at him with a solemn look on his face. "I concur. I am also appalled."

Peter was still trying to wake up. He'd had bad dreams. "What are you appalled about?"

Sirius gave him a reproving look. "You are also appalled, Pete. We are all appalled."

Peter went back to his porridge. "It's too bloody early for this," he muttered.

"So, Mr. Prongs, what will we do to rectify this… appallation?" Sirius furrowed his brow a bit. He wasn't sure that was a word.

"I know what I'm going to do," James said, standing up. He had just spotted Lucy Summers come bouncing into the room. Before Sirius could stop him, he had walked up, bent her back, and given her a heart-stopping kiss in front of everyone.

Sirius groaned and buried his head in his hands. "So much for plans."

Peter looked up and stared penetratingly at him. "Jealous, Padfoot?"

Sirius looked up at him as if he were crazy. "No, you git! But if he's trying to get Lily, kissing a girl in front of everyone the morning after he kisses _her_ is just about the worst thing he could possibly do. What an idiot!"

Peter gave him an odd look. On the other side of the room, James and a very flushed Summers were chatting up against a wall, and Tark had led a furious Lily Evans out of the Hall towards the library. "So you don't care? Weren't you snogging Summers just last night?"

Sirius' eyes sparked. "Spying again, you little rodent? It's none of your bloody business who I snog. James knows all about it, so bugger off!"

"Gladly." Peter got up and stalked away from the table, past James, who seemed to be apologizing profusely to Summers, who was laughing at him, and out of the Great Hall.

Sirius looked dejected for a minute, and then noticed a cute fifth-year out of the corner of his eye. "Deena Wilder! It's been ages, love! A pretty guy like me shouldn't be sitting here all alone! Come and join me!"

And, giggling, she did.

_A/N: If you want to read about Lily's pink bathrobe, check out "Perilous in Pink", a short one-shot available from my author page. Sorry, all my stories link like this without really chronologically working together. It's just fun for me that way. Nearly all of my minor characters are mentioned in other stories, too. _

_Next time's going to get a bit crazy. Lucy's going to take matters into her own hands, as James is obviously hopeless and doesn't heed his own advice. You'll alsosee a lot more of Minty. -Daisy_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Whoo! My head is spinning just trying to keep up with this story. I know exactly where I'm going, but everytime I try to take the most direct route to get there, the characters go off and do something nuts._

_Sorry it took so long to update – here's a short summary to refresh your memories: Lily Evans, Alice Murphy, and Minty Greenwitch, three Gryffindor friends, have a bet on to win the affections of one Ravenclaw, Tarquin (Tark) Pendragon. Each has their own methods of winning him over – Alice is smothering him with sweets and kindness ( her fiancé Frank Longbottom is in Morocco for Auror training), Minty is using her 'feminine wiles' (and ensnaring Sirius Black in the process), and Lily is using James Potter to make Tark's competitive streak emerge. James found out about the whole thing, however, and has enlisted the aid of the Gryffindor Seeker, Lucy Summers, to help him out in winning Lily's affections for real. Sirius and Lucy had an impromptu snogging session, however, after Sirius failed to impress Minty, and Peter found out. He's furious, because he believes that Sirius' philandering will cause a rift in the Marauder's friendship. Remus finds all of it hilarious, and pitches in where he can._

* * *

Severus Snape and Robyn Rhys-DeVries, a friend from his house, were walking across the foyer the first morning of Christmas break when they saw an odd procession. First, Lily Evans, hair as red as her face, was escorted past by Tarquin Pendragon. The Ravenclaw was talking urgently into her ear, apparently attempting to calm her down. A few moments later, Peter Pettigrew hurtled through the door, head down, and so quickly that he nearly rammed into Robyn, whom Severus pulled out of harm's way just in time. After picking up her books, the pair started once again to cross the foyer, when Lucy Summers came strolling through the door, followed by a flushed James Potter, who was talking to her back, as he almost couldn't keep up with her swift stride. He seemed to be begging her. Finally, Sirius Black sauntered by, arm around a dark-haired fifth-year girl whose name they didn't know.

Robyn looked at her friend, and sighed. "Bloody Gryffindors," she said. "Can't they save the drama for later in the day?"

Severus merely shook his head, and they walked into the Great Hall for some much-needed coffee.

* * *

"Now, Lily," Tark Pendragon said, pulling a chair for her at a table in the library, before sitting himself, "What happened? We were having a good time, and all of a sudden you were just furious. Is it because Potter kissed that girl?"

Lily groaned and buried her face on the table. Her mind was working furiously, however. She was completely sick with herself, acting the way she did when she saw Potter kiss Lucy in front of the whole school. She had to save the situation. She wasn't completely sure of Tark's feelings for her, but it was too late now. She had to figure out a way to use this to make him jealous. But how?

There was no help for it. Lying through her teeth had worked before now.

Lifting her head, Lily smoothed her hair back and looked at him, a small, shy smile gracing her features. "Sorry, Tark, I completely overreacted. Potter and I – well, we have a bit of a past, and he wasn't very happy with the way things ended. He's constantly trying to make me jealous, and I get angry when he takes a perfectly nice girl like Lucy Summers, and plays with her head just to mess with me."

"You and Potter used to date? I never heard that!" Tark furrowed his brow. He looked adorable when he was confused, Lily thought idly. She ploughed on.

"Oh, well, anything between us was kept, very, um, quiet, you know, because we're Heads. We didn't want it to interfere with our duties. It was very intense; I doubt I'll _ever _meet a guy who kisses like that again," Lily said, shivering a little. She seemed to Tark to go off into a little reverie.

"You might be surprised, you know," he said with a smile. "Now where's that tour booklet?" As he got up to look for it, Lily grinned maniacally into her hands, and pattered her feet under the table. It was so easy. She couldn't believe it. Boys were _so _dumb!

* * *

"Alright, Damn, Potter! It's been about four hundred times. You can stop apologizing now. It wasn't that bad," Lucy Summers said, grinning, as she sunk into a cushy chair in the empty common room.

"What? I was bad! Oh, Merlin, I'm so-" Lucy grabbed James' hand and pulled him down into the chair next to hers.

"Potter. Shut. Up. Seriously. I don't care that you kissed me; I just want to know why. I don't remember this being part of the plan, when you and Lupin told me about it."

"It wasn't! Honestly! I just – she was there, laughing with that dumb git, and I was there, and you were there, and I just snapped inside. She just does that to me, you know? I just had to make her look at me."

"Well, you accomplished that alright. But wouldn't you rather she look at you _without_ wanting to take your head off?"

"There's a way to do that?"

Lucy laughed until tears ran down her cheeks. "Of course there's a way to do that! How do you think people get together, and get married, and have babies, and all that rot?"

"Dumb luck? Anyway, with this bet on, I really don't have a chance."

"Wait. What bet? I thought you were just trying to get her to go out with you?"

He told her. The grim, angry look on Lucy's face somehow made him feel a lot better. It was the same look she sometimes got when the other team was ahead in a Quidditch game. It always meant a win. Always.

"That lousy bint. And you _told_ her you would let her use you for the bet?"

"Well, er, yes, but I wasn't exactly thinking clearly at the time."

"Alright, Potter. If she wants you as her little boy toy to make Pendragon jealous, she's going to get you. Now, here's what you do..."

* * *

The next week or so flew by rather quickly. Lily found herself spending more and more time with Tark Pendragon, as her girlfriends weren't around, and she felt a distinct chill in the Gryffindor common room every time she stepped through the door. James gave her a dirty look every time she crossed his path, and she could have sworn Lucy Summers had tried to trip her up on her way to the dormitories one night. Sirius and Peter Pettigrew seemed to have some kind of feud going on, but would stop cold if she walked in on an argument. All in all, it was very odd.

Especially as everytime she saw James Potter, she trembled a little, thinking of that kiss. Not that she wanted him to do it again, or anything. She just wished, a little, that he would look at her like he used to do, as if she were a priceless work of art or something.

Spending so much time with Tark, however, made her realize something rather important.

She really didn't know if she wanted to win the bet anymore, although from her vantage point it looked as though it would be a slam-dunk.

Tarquin Pendragon was easily the most boring boy alive.

It was odd, because she used to find him quite interesting. Almost overnight, however, he had completely flaked out.

Sure, he did all of the flirty things properly, and he had a really cool name, and he was so good-looking she could _almost_ overlook his sudden lack of personality. After all, how much did that really matter anyway? Besides, she argued with herself, she only needed to get him to ask her for one date, and then she could dump him. It was the winning that counted, not the prize.

Right?

* * *

"We're back, Evans! Did you be missin' us?" Minty, followed by Alice struggling with an overlarge trunk, pushed through the portrait hole, beaming from ear to ear. Before she could receive a hug from an ecstatic Lily, though, Sirius Black pushed his way in front of her.

"Greenwitch, I'm not about to let you ruin my reputation. I'm sick of playing games with you, girl!" He grabbed her before she could punch him and kissed her, wrapping his arms around hers so that she could barely move.

When he finally let her up for air, amid cheers and catcalls from the students in the rapidly filling common room, the dazed look on her face caused a huge smirk to break out on his. Only for a moment, though, as she shook her head to clear it and pushed him aside to talk to her friends.

"Much better, Black, to be sure. Now leave me be, boy! I've got important matters to discuss with my ladies!" Grabbing Lily and Alice by the hand, she dragged them up the stairs to her dormitory, luggage abandoned. Sirius was completely dumbfounded, and Remus, who had walked in during the kiss, grinned and sat him down in a nearby armchair.

"Too late, pal. She's in love with another bloke."

* * *

"I'm in love, girls, so I am!" Minty, flopping onto her bed and giggling into her hands, looked a little like an actual schoolgirl, and not the predatory siren her friends knew her to be. They shared an incredulous look, and sat down on the end of her bed.

"All right then, Minty, spill. I know you told Remus when I was in the loo on the train, I could tell by his face. Who is it?" Alice looked a bit grumpy. She hated not knowing things.

"I had to tell someone, don't you know, and I wanted to tell the two of you together. Skelly is the one. I'm going to marry that man!"

"Skelly?" Her friends said in unison, giggling. Minty looked murderous.

"Skelly, I'll have you know, is a good old-fashioned Irish name. Skelly Finnigan is rugged, handsome, and wild. He's the perfect man for me, for all that he's a muggle."

"He's a _muggle_? Where did you meet a _muggle_? All your family's magic!" Lily and Alice were more surprised than before, and that was hardly possible. This was Minty Greenwitch, after all, who had given the junior Gryffs seminars on the evils of having one serious boyfriend at a time, getting married. To a muggle. As far as Lily knew, Minty had never even met a muggle before.

"He's a neighbor of me granny's, in Edinburgh. During Hogmanay, you know, all the neighbors visit one another. He dropped in just in time to see me tryin' to pull me granny off me mam, as they were brawlin' again. He grabbed me waist and set me aside, sayin' he didn't want he would see me hurt, and clunked Granny on the head with her skillet. Once she came to, she introduced him 'round. He's Irish, but living in Edinburgh as he works in one of the breweries there. Once he learns the trade he's moving back home and starting his own label – and I'm going with him. He gave me a ring 'n all, just like herself," she finished, nodding to Alice as she pulled a box out of her pocket with a jolly twinkling emerald ring inside.

"Minty, I…um…we….," Lily floundered. She was completely floored. Never in her wildest imaginings did she ever expect to be giving Minty Greenwitch felicitations. Alice, however, affianced herself, knew just what to do.

"Oh, you darling, we're so happy for you!" She leaped on Minty and gave her a huge hug, which the normally violent girl returned happily. Shaking her head, Lily joined in.

"I'm so happy I'm beside meself, to be sure. Only I'm not sure how would I tell him I'm a witch, an' all. I guess I'll just wait until after we're married. It might go down easier that way."

"He doesn't know?" Lily said, pulling herself and Alice out of the three-way hug, once again staring at her friend in shock.

"He doesn't, but I don't think it really matters that much. He'll find out soon enough, you know. Well," she said, hopping from the bed and shaking out her clothes, "I'm off to find Pendragon. I've a bet to win, before this betrothed business gets around the school." And with that, Minty left the room, leaving her friends gaping behind her.

* * *

"I think that Operation Cold Shoulder has been a resounding success, Potter. Are you ready for Phase Two?"

"You bet, Summers.. Evans won't know what hit her."

* * *

_A/N: Skelly is an old Irish name, meaning "Storyteller". I just liked it. _

_Tarquin, for those of you who are interested, is from one of my favorite books, "Gone Away Lake" by Elizabeth Enright. Lots of lovely unpronounceable Victorian names in that one. Pendragon, of course, is from King Arthur's old man, Uther (though the Pendragon Chronicles by D.J. MacHale are good, too)_

_As for any questions the observant of you have regarding Minty's behavior in future canon, please rest assured that I have given the matter significant thought, and will explain my thoughts on the matter at the end of the story._

_The next chapter should be the last one. Thanks to Allie (you know who you are, Alz) for helping me come up with the ending, months ago, in an email conversation, though she didn't know that she was doing it._


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: I know, right? Only took me like 5 years. I've been into reading fanfiction again lately, and rereading this I realized it was too much fun not to finish, esp. as I had written half of the chapter several years ago (so if it's a bit uneven you know why). I've written better, but at least it's finished. I hope you enjoy! - Daisy_

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that _boys are dumb_!" Lily fumed, as she slammed her books down on a corner table in the common room later that night and flopped into a comfy chair.

"I think that Einstein would disagree with you," Alice commented, looking at her friend. "What's he done now?"

"Which one? Pendragon's snoggled up with Minty on the Astronomy Tower, and Potter kept flicking peas in my hair at supper. As if I _really_ wouldn't notice. Why is he going out of his way to make me want to smack him?"

"What's 'snoggled'?" Alice asked, giggling a little at her friend's discombobulation. When Lily got all fussed like this the best thing to do was to distract her.

"Snuggling and snogging. Obviously. Don't distract me. What's Potter _up_ to?"

"Why do you think he's up to anything?"

"Because peas in the hair he hasn't done since Second Year. Unless he's decided to relive his childhood, which would hardly be worthwhile, immature as he is, this must be part of some plan."

"Oh, now _he_ has a plan?"

"He and Summers. It's obvious."

"You're off your chump. Help me get caught up in Charms, yea? I want to write to Frank before I go to bed. He's been odd lately, too. Keeps asking me if there's anything I want to tell him."

"They're all mad. And dumb. I can't stand it anymore. I should have joined a convent or something."

"Do Catholicism and magic really mix?"

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Alice, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

"First Jane Austen, now Shakespeare? Just snog the boy and have done with it!"

"Why do you keep talking as if there's just one?"

"Isn't there?"

* * *

"BLACK!" Minty's roar across the Common Room the next afternoon warned most of Gryffindor house that something was amiss, and that one Sirius Black was in for a world of pain. Unfortunately he was absorbed in a game of Gobstones with Remus and didn't notice, though Peter, sitting nearby, certainly did. He looked very nervous and grabbed a pillow, just in case things got ugly. He had learned _that_ little safety trick in his first term at Hogwarts.

When the Gobstone he was about to play suddenly launched itself to his eye level and squirted him right in the face, Sirius was a bit surprised. He jumped to his feet, wiping his face on his shirt and swearing, when he realized that the rest of the room was silent. He opened his eyes slowly to find a _very_ annoyed Beater standing not a meter from him, her wand level with his nose. The rest of the Common Room inhabitants were watching avidly. You could hear a pin drop.

"What? What did I do this time?"

"Not a thing, other than SNOG ANOTHER GIRL TEN MINUTES AFTER SNOGGING ME!"

"Oh. Um. Did I really? That's not on, is it. I guess, er…sorry?"

"Sorry? Boyo, you haven't seen sorry. Just wait until I tell my fiancé! Oh, and you are the _worst_ kisser I've ever had the displeasure to be wastin' me time with! As soon as Pettigrew told me I-"

Sirius rounded on Wormtail, who was clutching the pillow with a fierce look on his face. "It was wrong and you knew it, Sirius. You don't care about anything but what makes you happy that minute." His voice shook with anger.

"Shut it, you wormy git! This doesn't concern you!" Sirius snapped. He turned back around to face Minty, just as she let loose with a left hook that met his favorite eye at a very unhealthy speed.

"You, Black," Minty continued, now in a calm, level voice, as Sirius writhed on the couch in pain, Remus writhed in the chair with silent laughter, and Peter stared at her with something akin to hero worship, "Are, as I said, the worst kisser in this school. Probably in any school. I shan't be wantin' to come near you again, 'less I have a Bludger in my hand. You're lucky I don't now. Jes' leave me be, boy! You, however, Pete, are a bit of alright." Grabbing Peter by the face, she kissed him for the better part of a minute, as he knelt in the big armchair, pillow falling to the floor as his hands dropped helplessly to his sides. Several jaws dropped in the still silent room.

"Sure and you're_ much_ better than Sirius, darlin'. Ladies, I recommend this one," she announced, and walked out the door. The silence broke as laughter and chatting filled the room once more. Peter, sitting back in the chair with a soppy grin on his face, didn't notice the suddenly-interested looks several of the girls were sending his way. Remus finally exploded, falling to the floor with laughter. He paused a minute to look up, with a grin, when he realized Sirius had joined him.

"You're right, Moony, this entire thing is ridiculous!" Jumping up from the floor, Sirius engulfed Peter in a big hug before he had time to defend himself. "I'm sorry, Wormy, this is just a mess, isn't it? I won't go near Summers or any other girl you gormless gits are involved with, real or imaginary, yeah? Actually, I'll probably just give up women altogether!"

"Get off me, Sirius, you nut!" Pete managed to say as he was pushing Sirius away, but the grin on his face informed Sirius that all was forgiven. Remus, watching from the floor, was pleased that the ugly fierce fear that had been ever-present on Peter's face the last couple of weeks seemed to have vanished almost completely.

* * *

"Potter, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Evans," James replied, shifting his wand in a more defensive hold as he noted the controlled rage in Lily's tone.

"Is there a reason that you, oh, I don't know, _BLEW IN MY EAR_ as you walked by me today while I was talking to Tark in the hall? And what about that slap on the rump in T-fig? Are you trying to drive me nuts? I thought you hated me now anyway… you've been looking at me like I'm covered in Bubotuber Pus for a week now."

"Evans, I don't know what you're talking about." James grinned, albeit a little nervously as he and Lily finished up their hall patrol and headed back for the Gryffindor common room. She had been nearly silent for the entire shift, and he was feeling a little on edge.

"_Don't_ lie to me, I _know _you and Summers are up to something. I've seen you about everywhere together, and I _know_ she spilled that pumpkin juice in my lap on purpose at lunch today." Lily was working up a good head of steam when James thought he heard trotting footsteps around the corner, behind them.

"Lily!" Both whipped their heads around to see Tark Pendragon round the corner, approach, and kiss Lily on the cheek before grinning at her.

"You're out after curfew Pendragon," James said shortly, adding, "_you smarmy git,_" in his head.

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I knew you were on rounds tonight, and I just wanted to tell Lily that my parents loved their trip and sent me a load of exotic treats from Tibet! Can you meet me after supper tomorrow? I'd love to share with you."

"That's _so_ sweet of you, Tarquin!" Lily gushed, wondering how she was going to endure an hour of his incredibly dull company while eating yak yogurt, or whatever. And what was James doing? Why was his arm snaking around her waist? Was he _nuzzling her neck_? She couldn't even stop him, not in front of Tark. She wanted Tark to be jealous, right? Otherwise, she would totally stop him. Totally. Right now. Really.

"Well, er, alright then. See you, I guess?" He looked a little confused. "I seem to have interrupted you… I'll just be off to bed now." He walked slowly down the corridor, looking back at the pair of them now and again. Just as he turned the corner, his back stiffened as he heard James call, "Five points from Ravenclaw for breaking curfew!" As he disappeared, James couldn't help feeling a bit smug.

"James!" Lily pushed his arm away and turned to glare at him. Was that really necessary?"

"The snuggle, or the points?"

"Both!"

"Yes."

"You're hopeless," she said in a huff, and marched off down the hall. James smiled a little as he followed her. He couldn't wait to tell Lucy that Operation Drive-Evans-Bonkers was working like a dream. It had been not only necessary, but totally worth the trouble he was now in. Her hair…he never could get enough of the smell.

* * *

The following Monday, breakfast was a subdued affair. Alice, for some reason, kept pushing her fair hair back from her face. She looked a bit sweaty and frantic. Lily was in a sullen mood, wishing that she'd never heard of Potter _or_ Pendragon. She had deliberately sat with her back to the Ravenclaw table. Minty, however, had a bit of a cocky grin on her face as she buttered her toast.

"Ready to give in, then, ladies? After my, eh, _walk_ round the grounds with Tark last night, he told me that he had something to ask me tomorrow – and you ken Hogsmeade weekend is coming up!"

"I've got it in the bag, Greenwitch. _You_ might as well give in." Lily did not say this with her usual sparkle. She felt sick of the entire mess.

"Um. Right. Actually, I guess, you know, you-are-both-wrong-and-I-win," Alice said in a rush. Her friends turned to look at her, confused. Just then, Tark Pendragon walked up behind her and sat down, putting his arm around her and giving her a bit of a hug, with a peck on the cheek. Alice looked absolutely terrified. Her friends looked absolutely dumbfounded. The Marauders, further down the table, didn't even pretend to try to look as though they weren't paying attention; they were hanging on every word.

"I just wanted to be here with Alice when she told you that We. Are. In. _LOVE!" _Tark enunciated, giving Alice a squeeze. The toast Minty had been biting into fell out of her mouth onto the table. Lily absentmindedly handed her a serviette as she stared, dumbstruck, at her best friend, who looked to be on the verge of tears. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the boys, three of whom were as shocked as she by Tark's announcement. Remus seemed to be having trouble keeping a smirk from his lips.

"Murphy, darlin', what is the boy bletherin' on about? Yerself bein' betrothed and all?" Minty's voice was as cold as anyone had ever heard. Not only could she not believe that Alice would betray Frank, whom she doted on, but Minty was unable to grasp the idea that she may have lost a bet to Alice Murphy, of all people.

"You're betrothed, Minty, and you and Tark were out 'til—Oomph!" James stopped as Remus elbowed him in the gut.

"Stay out of it, Prongs," he said.

"Tark and I haven't – er, No! Nothing like that," squeaked Alice, looking quite properly panicked now. She kept shooting looks at Tark, and attempting to scoot away from him on the bench. He caught her eye and his look of besotted happiness was suddenly replaced with one much more serious.

"They're right, darling. We must inform Longbottom at once. No reason for you to do it, I'll break it to him gently. He'll understand. I'll go and write to him right away." Dropping a kiss on the top of her head, he bounced out of his seat and walked with a springing step out of the Great Hall. Alice, her face now dead white, made to stand, but a hand pushed her back into her seat.

"Alice, He…You…Er. Don't fret, it will work out the way it's supposed to..." Remus tried to comfort her as he patted her shoulder, then followed Tarquin Pendragon out of the hall. James and Lucy Summers grinned at one another, and Sirius' gaze followed Remus with a thoughtful look.

"Pete, pass me the toast, will yeh darlin'? Thanks." Minty looked at Lily, who now had her arm around a sobbing Alice and was glaring at her. "What?"

* * *

Lily and Alice found studying nearly impossible that evening, and as they sat by their favorite stained glass window in the library Lily couldn't imagine how things had gotten so out of hand. Alice hadn't eaten all day, and even the slightest mention of love, romance, or Frank Longbottom made her burst into tears. With a huge Charms exam looming however, she knew that she had to push her feelings aside and study with Lily to try to pull a passing grade. Easier said than done.

"I love him so much, Lily! I didn't do anything with Tark, really! I baked for him a couple of times and mended his Quidditch robes after he tore them in that last match but I didn't kiss him or even flirt very much, I swear! It was just a game, wasn't it just a game?"

"Alice, I-"

"This is such a mess! What am I going to do? How will I ever be able to explain to Frank? Why wouldn't Remus let me go after Tark? I could have stopped him writing Frank! Tark doesn't really love me, right?"

"Alice, I-"

"He can't possibly think I love him! Why would he think that? He came up to me before breakfast, asked me to Hogsmeade, and told me I was his dream girl! He tried to kiss me but I dodged it…I think I almost fainted actually! I'm so glad no one saw. But everyone saw what happened this morning! Someone will tell Frank, even if Tark doesn't! Oh, why did we ever make this stupid bet?" Hiding her face in the crook of her arm, Alice put her head on the table, shoulders shaking.

"Alice, LOOK!" Lily went to the window, where a majestic Great Horned Owl was attempting to hover. She opened the casement and Alice looked up as Frank's owl soared into the library.

"Archimedes! What – oh, Lily, is it a howler?"

"It doesn't look red," Lily said, watching the owl as he landed elegantly on the back of the chair next to Alice, holding out a leg and hooting in a dignified manner, his head turning a bit to one side as he regarded her. Minty walked up in time to see Alice stroke the bird's head lovingly and slip him an owl treat before he sailed back out the window into the night.

"Oh, dear me. You want privacy then, lad? Lily and I will leave ye be."

"I'm not a boy, Minty," Alice said automatically as she stared at the letter in her hand, Frank's copperplate writing looking just as usual. "I'm afraid to open this."

"Allow me," said another voice, as Remus Lupin walked up behind her. Alice looked at him in astonishment.

"Remus! Do you really think I want you to read aloud the b-breakup of my engagement?" she said, voice shaking.

"Trust me, Alice. I've been friends with you and Frank for years._ Trust me_," he begged, looking her in the eye, as he sat down next to her, gently tugging the letter from her hands. Minty and Lily looked on as he opened the letter and began to read.

_My darling girl –_

_I hear you have been involved in a bet to win the affections of one Tark Pendragon. I was very disconcerted to hear this, what with our being engaged and all._

_What you probably don't know, however, is that I am currently in Auror training with Tark's older brother, Pindar. When Tark heard through the Hogwarts grapevine that three fearsome Gryffindor women were after him, he wrote his brother begging for help. Pin told me you were involved, and naturally we decided to put our heads together and come up with a way to get you all back, and give Tark some much needed peace of mind, as he has been scared silly ever since hearing about your wager._

_Although Tark currently has feelings for another Gryffindor, he was persuaded to pretend to go along with your wild schemes, and, to make it funnier, to be besotted by you – so in love that he would write and tell me the engagement is off, thus scaring you to death._

_My dear, you've been had._

_Since you technically won the bet, you have to choose dates for the next Hogsmeade weekend for Lily and Minty Greenwitch – that is the wager, right? Ah, but I've added a caveat! You also must pick a date for Tark – if you pick the girl he likes, then I will apparate up and meet you in Hogsmeade to celebrate your 'win.' If you choose a different girl, I'm afraid you'll just have to stag it. _

_Since I really want to see you next weekend though, I'll give you a hint. The girl he likes outplanned the Planner._

_All my love Always and All Ways_

_Your Frank_

Alice, with color in her face for the first time since breakfast, launched herself into Remus' arms and sobbed.

"Jaysus, the girl's a bleedin' fountain today, yeah?"

"Oh, hush, Minty!"

* * *

"Alright, Lupin, spill. I know you know more than you're telling about all of this."

Lily and Remus were following an ecstatic, relieved Alice and a confused Minty Greenwitch from the library, and Lily decided that it was time everything was out on the table.

"OK, but don't hit me."

"You know I only ever hit Potter, and then only when he deserves it."

"He must deserve it a lot."

"Well, obviously."

"Tark and I are friends of a sort – we partner advanced Herbology together. I've been helping him try to sort this whole mess out, and when he told me his brother was in Auror training, I told him to write and enlist Frank's help. I've been a double agent of sorts, letting them know what you girls were up to." Remus grinned a bit as he said this. It all had been rather fun, really. "I felt terrible about Alice today, though. I didn't think about how she would react to Tark writing to Frank to call off the engagement! I'm glad that's all sorted."

"I'm just glad it's over. It is over, right?"

"Mostly, but look." Remus pointed to the end of the hall, where James Potter sat on a stoned carved bench, looking extremely nervous, holding one white transfigured lily in his hand. Remus smiled at the color that rose on Lily's cheeks.

"I'll see you in the common room later then Lily? Are you going to play chess with me like we planned at lunch?"

She nodded, but hardly heard him. He grinned and turned down a side corridor as Lily walked towards James slowly, and he rose to meet her with a little smile on his face.

* * *

On a low wide wall just outside the great front doors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Sirius Black and Robyn Rhys-DeVries sat together leaning back against the thick ivy, watching a group of laughing, chattering Gryffindors make their way leisurely to Hogsmeade. Tarquin Pendragon and Lucy Summers led the little group, walking hand in hand and whispering together happily. Peter and Minty were next, Peter looking as though he couldn't believe his good luck, although even from a distance Sirius could hear Minty telling her date all about her "darlin' Skelly". Remus Lupin hurried to catch up with them, leaving James and Lily to walk behind. They were walking much closer than usual, and Sirius could have sworn he saw Evans' hand brush James' hand as they walked. Although they weren't talking, every once in a while, one would steal a glance at the other and blush a little. It made Sirius a little ill.

"And why aren't you bouncing along with them, joining in the 'happy ever after'?" Robyn asked, turning to her companion. He had just told her the entire story of the wager and its culmination, intermittently rubbing the blackened eye Minty had given him.

"It isn't necessary. There's nothing for me to do."

"What do you mean?"

"Hmm…How do I…OK Rhee, think of it like a story. You've got your main characters, and your background characters. The main characters ride off into the sunset on the white horse. Or in this case, trip off blithely to Hogsmeade. The other characters just sort of fade away. In this story, I'm background. Or trying to be."

"As if you could ever fade away," Robyn scoffed, shifting closer to him.

"Not usually," Sirius agreed, puffing his chest a little. "I typically steal the show, get everyone's attention. This time around, however, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I realize that I really didn't _want_ to be a main character."

"Why ever not?"

"Too much work and too much stress. The main characters have to struggle with angst and turmoil and plot. They have moral dilemmas, heartbreak and pain – all sorts of mess before they get to the happy ending – if they ever do."

"But-," Robyn prompted.

"_But_, the background character can be happy the entire time because no one expects any more from them, once their part is done. They sort of go behind the scenes – they walk on, do their bit, and leave – no one knows what happens to them, so they can spend the extra time in their own way, and enjoy."

"You're very deep," Robyn said in a mock-solemn voice, winking at him.

"Alas, fair damsel, I speak only the truth. Someday, I might be a main character and go through a whole big terrible ordeal, but for right now, no responsibilities. So before _my_ story begins, I'm going to enjoy every minute. I don't want to wait for a happy ending – after all, it might never come, and then where would I be?"

"Well then, love, let's not waste any more time," Robyn purred, and the couple faded into the foliage of the ivy clinging to the walls behind them.

The End


End file.
